A Little More Melatonin in Me

A little more melatonin 

Through my brain ,

Colours me whole.

And I fear it , I fear my skin.

Not because I despise it ,

Because you make me do it

By how you slaughter humans like me 

How you choke us to suffocate

Until we're dead. 

I am scared of myself now ,

Of the gospels of light 

Of how 

Its tenet insouciant to the dark

And fall for the bright. 

How you see a monster creeping in me

How you don't see my heart. 

How you rage against my hue.

How you keep me apart,

From the choice I deserved. 

You beleaguered my existence ,

And I subsumed myself 

In the axioms you put

To survive with you. 

But now I put down my sycophancy ,

I decide to make a choice. 

I quell my loathe of this colour 

And I choose to not 

let you have me smothered. 

I choose to not obey your decrees,

Not where you mutilate my voice.

Have not centuries seen us,

Convulse in pain for we didn't agree?

To the malignant destiny you

 conserved for us.

 No , now I do not give up. 

 Now I do not blame the

 Little more melatonin in me 

 And here , brighter I see 

 in the mere words and thoughts

 And not in the colour 

 For you to let us rot

 In the name of it. 

 No you don't decide for me.

 No you cannot annihilate my existence

 I won't let you now ,

 We won't let you now. 

 For my colour sable ,

 I won't let you decide 

 The fate of the little more

 Melatonin in me.

 

 

Woman awaits.

Your conforms have shackled me ,

In this archaic , rusted metal. 

The blasphemy has subsumed me ,

In your boundless chattel .

The order of life settled,

Been euphoric for you , 

Has hearten your mettle,

But things slated for me are all black and blue. 

My reticence ,

Was never a choice.

My silk gown dignified me ,

My virginity ,my innocence ,

Affirmed my poise. 

My eyes did say ,

Through the adorned tulle 

Of the veil 

My hands did shiver

In the sheer lacy gloves.

But I didn't condemn this aurae. 

Because I wasn't supposed to ,

Utter a word.

A queen wasn't supposed to 

Be as absurd. 

In the taut corset ,

My heart died at each pump. 

But my friend says ,

"You'll get used to it ,

To this doom forfeited."

In the clamor of the men ,

Raising their wine glass

And laughing,

At the gala then , 

I perceived the farse. 

The hypocrisy I saw ,

How they hailed their queen,

And how their jaws gnawed ,

At each lace of her self-esteem. 

My lips had words to spill ,

My brain had dreams to knit. 

My hands had desire to labour ,

For the toils I wasn't supposed to fit-in. 

But the modest crown 

From the clouded age 

Was ponderous on my thoughts 

Which , it thinks to be adown. 

 But my musing do sojourn ,

 To an abode 

 Where they do not mourn 

 women.

I better , well, anticipate 

A tomorrow of acceptance.

Where they acquiesce

Where they concur for a repentance. 

I long for my heart to inflate ,

For the corset to be redundant.

I desire my gown to not be a requisite 

My world awaits ,

A turn of fortune,

For the woman mordant 

And free. 

Dream The Death

The normalcy of my night , 

Was purloined by the estranged weather. 

No , I wasn't afraid

 rather it was my dismay

But it had me blethered . 

And I lost my streit, 

With dread I tried to shove away. 

The cynical clairvoyance so blithe , 

Making way into my wits.

I saw the wraiths of the dark coming alive ,

I saw the worse coming to me. 

And I cried.

My tears of anticipation , 

How dark this could be?

My evasion 

But what am I running from ?

Maybe the furore of the wind , 

Dauntingly gruesome to me .

Or is it the exscind 

Waiting to be?

I slept in the horror ,

With the sweat of my fear.

The windows still banged ,

The clamour of the blow

Seemed so close to my ears.

Then ,

I saw him , 

My favourite man coming to me. 

Bringing in the aura of polished man as he was , 

And I was smiling wide with the glee. 

What had him standstill ,

Was the bullet through the hole in him.

He kneeled as he cried. 

And I stood there, taking in my fill ,

Of the lie

 that seems to be true .

 I defied ,

 It happened too soon.

I woke up , promptly ,

as I jumped out of the bed.

Before the deranged dream could swallow me.

Before I saw him dead. 

Before my mind reminisces ,

Before leaves out the pleas

Of my mouth for salvation

That's no longer in his kiss.

Because no more he is here , 

I abuse the weather in the nights like this.

There's no more of him ,

Not even the blood that smeared,

His tux like the red oil spilled. 

I abuse the weather each night like this,

Because my screams , my cries 

The fragility, I despise 

Make me kiss 

Those lips again , 

And I see the blood dripped 

Again. 

I'm still imprisoned ,

In that night foredoomed.

I'm there in the day of his death ,

I'm still there with his wounds.

Mother.

I'm happy for you mother , 

How long would you have condoned woes of others?

How long would you have yourself smothered?

How far would this purgatory have surged ,

The far would they have fallen , 

The nearer you came only to be hurt.

The frondescence that was put to blaze.

The heart of yours in encumbrance , 

As the human dearth of empathy . 

How long would you have chased ,

The ways to tend to your child.

How long would have you worked incessantly ?

How long would have you let your children be wild ?

I'm happy for you mother , 

For this measure of respite  .

Your children now have slowed down ,

Somehow chastised 

for what they did .

Now that it's all standstill , 

Mother , now you shall revive.

I'm happy for you.

Quarantine

You sit there at the window sill,

See the world stand still.

The winds in staccato.

Brainy mortals subsumed in lazaretto.

Lingering with you in the four walls,

Are the chunks of peace 

Staying beneath your stonewalls.

A roister of break it is,

You let the earth breathe ,

You sip wine

And believe that things are gonna be fine.

A moment of halt it is ,

You get out of bed to see the sun.

You pour in coffee 

And think how you wanted this.

You miss your kin , 

you miss your pals

But choose to undo the knot within.

Choose to purge the mals. 

You need to heal too. 

Even when the world has stopped. 

What if things may not fall apart?

And the pessimism demands adieu? 

You have to heal too ,

In the quite place . 

Because mind needs space ,

For the grime you shall blew.

You've been quarantined , 

For you to seek respite. 

The world still has a long way to go , 

You shall contain yourself to recite

What the lineage needs to know.

As if mind vs heart made sense.

That thing , pumping up the life in humans , called heart has been unfair to the most. 

Or , been the most righteous for others .

 Such a disparity because , their mind hoodwink their thoughts , and have them condemn the heart. And through the small time passage, heart grows to be wicked. 

You don't blame no one , because your brain does what it's supposed to and your heart does what it fancies. 

These two organs , if cast themselves completely in a human being and manifested discretely , would leave us stoned. These two types of humans we have are a massive catastrophe to each other. Again , you see , it is none of their faults.  The hustle is not right together , the mind thinks for the other and the heart does it for both. If someone's saving you , it's virtuous and if you save you both , that's not a mal in you either. It's just what you think it to be.

Issue With Us.

There's always some issue with us , 

Some teensy pain in the arse always . 

My friend , there's always this issue with us

That we always have our mess to chase.

Often, we don't pick it to solve. 

Always we fetch it from the infinity to bear. 

Rarely , do we try to understand.

And not choose get it some air ?!

Has been a while , when my pal and I tried to discuss ,

My clinging self stuck to pluck the root out of his mind.

"What a fuss !" 

He mused.

There's this always one hell of a game,

To try to tell him , 

Not to run . 

But all that I heard from him , from world was 

"Oh , that shit is lame."

Have we not understood it really?

The mental peace is when you bring it. 

Picking out the deal out of it , 

Is when it's sailing , 

Away. 

Talk. And try to get a hold over it.

Laugh , and shove it all off your head.

Because in real the beauty is in your brain.

Have the optimism for it to be fed.